


netflix, let me plot your romcoms

by blackholenipples



Category: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
Genre: F/F, F/M, bullet fic, i watch romcoms for the soft endings, not set in london, regency vibes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:35:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29204445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackholenipples/pseuds/blackholenipples
Summary: bullet fic outlining what I want for eloise + colin's season
Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton/Original Female Character(s), Phillip Crane/Marina Thompson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 21





	netflix, let me plot your romcoms

**Author's Note:**

> this entire thing is a direct response to some girl on tiktok predicting that they kill marina off to hook eloise up with her husband.  
> if you want to write it, i'm 100% down, just link your fic in the comments so i can read it please!!
> 
> edit: so apparently it's a book spoiler that she dies but it changes nothing

So like, anthony is married off with his 2.5 kids doing lordly things and Benedict’s season ended with him in a happy marriage with some debutante after heartbreak at the hands of the artist dude 

Anyways, Marina’s pregnant with Sir philip's kid and she’s a little lonely out in the country because plot reasons 

  * She likes him a lot, they’re friendly and she’s had a couple of years to heal and get over the dead boyfriend
  * Phillip, of course thinks she’s still heartbroken over his brother and hates him for not being the dead bf and is head over heels
    * She’s pretty, she’s funny, she’s better at running the day-to-day business of the estate than he is and she’s loved by his tenants
      * Lots of gratuitous scenes of him watching her go over numbers or reading letters or whatever in a plant-filled sunroom to show his admiration
    * Obviously, they fall in love and admit it to each other while she’s in labour & looks like she’s about to die 
  * Anyway marina asks him one day if she can have a friend come stay with her until the baby is born
    * Penny, meanwhile, has been exchanging letters with marina because she genuinely likes the girl and has had a chance to grow up a bit and realize how badly she fucked up
      * Insert immense guilt complex
    * So penny’s at their place b/c she’s had 3 unsuccessful seasons and her goal is to come clean to marina over the summer
      * Her id is intact, mostly, but at some point she and colin had started to develop feelings during season 3 when he found her out and (idk what drama she stirred up for anthony and benedict, but there’s gotta be some) and we get a scene in 4x1 where he’s like “I love you but i don’t know if i can trust you” or whatever
    * Anyway, there’s feelings there
  * AND THEN sir Philip gets a letter from his sister
    * Her (extremely rich and kinda old and gross) husband died, leaving her and their 2-year-old son alone, and she wants to visit because she hasn’t had a chance and she wants to meet his wife
      * The rich, widowed sister who inherited the family green thumb, but unlike her brother, who just likes them, she’s got mad chaotic scientist vibes
        * Actually, i’m giving her a dead bff (gf) who was her midwife because that gives me an excuse to have her interested in applied medicine and pharmacy with the plant thing
      * Also cute toddlers run around and cause havoc because why not? 



So here’s where the plot comes in

  * Sir phillip lives within a couple hours ride of the Hastings manor 
    * If you didn’t see that coming, please go read more regency-inspired fanfiction 
      * Guess who’s kids are friends? Marina’s and daphne’s
    * Simon gets to spend this season just minding his own business and being a hot dad because while I hate that the narrative treated him the way they did, they did everything in their power to establish the fact that he adores kids and wants to be a dad, so he gets to be happy 
      * At some point, someone is going to find out about what happened in 1x6 and daphne has a realization, hard talk and they get to actually recognise that what she did to him was terrible and he gets an apology 
        * Also, i get to hear him say that “what you did was wrong, but i choose to forgive you because holding on to the past does nothing other than prevent my future happiness”
        * Yes, he deserves retribution, but i want a happy ending more
  * Daphne is a busybody who gets a lot of info on the london stuff from mom and lady danbury so the bridgerton sibs get invited to spend the summer at Hastings 
    * She knows colin is heartbroken
    * She knows Eloise needs to GTFO of london b/c the queen suspects she’s lady whistledown and being in the country for the summer would give her an alibi 
      * She’s had 2 seasons and at some point daphne makes her a deal that if she actually tries to find a husband this season and can’t find anyone she thinks she’ll be happy with, she’ll let her stay at hastings as “governess” to the hastings babies 
        * To be clear, she will be expected to do jack shit because D&S have a reputation for being unfashionably involved in their kids lives because they’re absurdly doting parents for no other reason than that i want them to be happy and pretend simon has no trauma from his wife’s actions
  * Anyway, Eloise and Colin offer to take the kid(s?) on a playdate over to sir phillip’s so daphne and simon can bone and hopefully be less gross in future 
    * Guess who they find there??? 
      * Argument between colin and eloise over whether they let daphne know, because she will immediately send colin home for the sake of his mental health and he’s pining like an idiot even though he’s mad
      * Hurt feelings + slow burn for the ratings
    * Meanwhile, eloise and the widowed sister?? Immediate science friends 
      * Eloise has decided to pursue a study of whatever the regency equivalent of psychology is; at some point, she published a controversial article about how rich, married women drink in their society to act out in response to emotional abuse at the hands of their husbands 
        * Y’know, the ones freud threw away b/c $$$
      * She’s now studying the effects of opium and alcohol on the individual psyche 
        * They fall in love and science is their love language
        * Guess what research comes in handy when doses are miscalculated and marina goes into CNS depression??
        * marina's doctor is like "more opium to dilate the cervix", plant wife is like "bro, it's working, all she needs is time" and eloise punches the man and tells phillip to count marina's breathing because she only breathed like 10 times in the last minute and more opium will kill her 
          * get a nalaxone kit guys, it saves lives
          * note that marina is actually 100% fine except for the fact that some quack is trying to kill her



There’s summertime drama, marina’s baby is born and then they go back to london, all paired up but unwilling to admit it 

  * Eloise is perfectly uninterested in getting married, and that makes her the “unattainable sapphire that taunts the ton” or some such rot
    * Some fortune-hunter dude has found out about her article and is blackmailing her to marry him
    * Anyway the widow and sir phillip somehow manage to save her from ruin and she retires to the widow’s country home to spend their days as lady friends who are co-parenting and it’s very scandalous but literally an hour after she announces it, Penelope announces her engagement to colin via lady whistledown to take some of the attn. off of her
      * Colin has come to terms with the lady whistledown thing and pen’s agreed to let either him or marina beta-read her potentially controversial stuff to ensure that she’s only using her powers for good because they both think she’s gone too far a few times but she doesn’t really know how to un-sharpen her pen
  * The bridgertons come out okay b/c for eloise’s one scandal they have 3 excellent marriages to prove that the young’uns are more likely to be marriageable than not



Anyways, everyone lives happily ever after and s5 is just hyacinth being chaotic af while Francesca gets?? Laid?


End file.
